Funny Quotes
"I never forget my wife's birthday. It's usually the
day after she _________________________________________________________________
"I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now." Author Unknown _________________________________________________________________
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." Author Unknown _________________________________________________________________
"You are only young once, but you can stay immature
"We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our
"When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a _________________________________________________________________
"A well adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her _________________________________________________________________
"Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.” Author Unknown _________________________________________________________________
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and _________________________________________________________________
"Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives." Maurice Chevalier _________________________________________________________________
"The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.” _________________________________________________________________
“I occasionally get birthday cards from fans. But it's often the same message: _________________________________________________________________
"A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never _________________________________________________________________
"Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that _________________________________________________________________
"When you get to my age life seems little more than one long march to and _________________________________________________________________
~My Favorite Funny Quote About Birthdays~
Funny Quotes About Friendship
"Show me a genuine case of platonic friendship, and I shall show you _________________________________________________________________
"A good friend is cheaper than therapy." Author Unknown _________________________________________________________________
"A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are _________________________________________________________________ "Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police." Author Unknown _________________________________________________________________
"One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out _________________________________________________________________
"A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to _________________________________________________________________
"An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you m _________________________________________________________________
"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and _________________________________________________________________ "It takes a long time to grow an old friend." John Leonard
_________________________________________________________________
"Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. _________________________________________________________________
"The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends." _________________________________________________________________
"A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my Funny Quotes About Retirement
"Sometimes it's hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work
"In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is _________________________________________________________________ "The money's no better in retirement but the hours are!" Author Unknown _________________________________________________________________
"The best time to start thinking about your retirement is _________________________________________________________________ "Retirement: World's longest coffee break." Author Unknown _________________________________________________________________
"The challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending _________________________________________________________________
"I've been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They're called _________________________________________________________________
"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I _________________________________________________________________
"Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it _________________________________________________________________
"The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at _________________________________________________________________ "Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did." Malcolm Forbes _________________________________________________________________
"There are some who start their retirement long before _________________________________________________________________ "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job." Ella Harris _________________________________________________________________ "Retirement is the ugliest word in the language." Ernest Hemingway _________________________________________________________________
"I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, _________________________________________________________________ "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." Abe Lemons _________________________________________________________________
"When you retire, you switch bosses-from the one who hired you to the _________________________________________________________________
"I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it _________________________________________________________________
"Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting _________________________________________________________________
"Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn
"Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, _________________________________________________________________
"Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... _________________________________________________________________
"In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. _________________________________________________________________
"When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half _________________________________________________________________
"When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go _________________________________________________________________
"When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, _________________________________________________________________
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."
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